Pants 0. Shit 1.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
