My brain says no but my pants say off.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
we made out on top of his cat.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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