First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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