I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
