Do vagina's smell?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
