no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
