as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I need a beard to bite.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
