I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
home. puking in laundry basket.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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