I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
