i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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