soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
It was a blind-side dick pic.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
You are a genius and a whore.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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