are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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