he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
