Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
You can't just leave with hair like that
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
