you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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