I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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