Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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