Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
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I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
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Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize