I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I wish you could order shots online.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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