I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
