If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
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