dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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