I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
