I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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