He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
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