So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Even my vagina gasped.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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