Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
and you fell through a lawn chair
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
