You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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