I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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