do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
