OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
