I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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