I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
