hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
