I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
