i wish starbucks made bloody marys
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
