its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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