I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I'm really busy with my period
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