It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
