apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
