just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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