just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
