i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
