Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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