Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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