need another drink. this is the easiest way
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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