Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
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Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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