That's intense
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
