He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
