you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
