If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
