there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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