Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
