Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Randomize