that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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