mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Be still, my beating vagina.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
