i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
