I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize