i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
