I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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