Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
