I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
