the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
