How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
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